Liudicrous

For each answer, a numerical score has been given in parentheses. Add up your score and see if you are a Tiger Parent.

Background Information

1. What is the ideal number of children to have?
   • One. The Chinese Government got it right (0)
   • Two or more. Just in case you disown some (100)

Child Rearing Philosophy

1. Why did you have a child?
   • To make the world a better place (0)
   • To fulfill my failed dreams (100)
2. Best way to describe your parenting style?
   • Mister Rogers. My home is the real-life Neighborhood (0)
   • Mr. Elon Musk. Treat them like employees that I tweet to while conquering the world (100)
3. How often do you display love and affection to your child?
   • Always. Kiss, hug and say “I love you” any chance I get (0)
   • Never. Love is a four letter word never shown or spoken (100)
4. How many languages does your child speak?
   • Less than five (0)
   • Five or more (100)
5. In your child’s room, what poster do you have on the wall?
   • Alphabet (0)
   • Sun Tzu (100)
6. Should your child date before marriage?
   • Yes (-100)
   • No (100)
7. If the previous answer is yes, what preconditions must occur?
   • None. It’s my child’s decision (0)
   • Acceptance into Harvard (100)

Educational Goals

1. How do you react when your child gets a “B” grade?
   • Tell them how proud I am and encourage them with words of support (0)
   • Slice off my little pinkie. My child is a failure because of me (100)
2. Does your child have extra tutoring? Mark all that apply.
   • No (0)
   • Yes, in Science (100)
   • Yes, in Technology (100)
   • Yes, in Engineering (100)
   • Yes, in Math (100)
   • Yes, in Liberal Arts and Humanities (-100)
3. What are your aspirations for your child graduating from high school?
   • I just want him/her to maximize their potential (0)
   • Valedictorian. Confucius say “Child who is #2 is a Number Two” (100)
4. When your baby was born, what subjects did you plan your child to pursue in college?
   • None. Let them decide (0)
   • Science, Technology, Math, Engineering, Law, Business (100)
     Medicine (1000)
   • Liberal Arts and Humanities (-100)
5. Which university do you want your child to attend?
   • Anywhere they are happy (0)
   • Harvard. It’s not about them (100)
6. If you want your child to play sports, which are important?
   • Fun and social categories (0)
   • Anything that looks good to Harvard (100)
7. Does your child play the Chinese Lute?
   • No. Is that a game? (0)
   • Yes. It looks good to Harvard (100)
8. What do you consider the perfect Saturday activity for your child: Mark all that apply.
   • Spending time with their friends (0)
   • Building an exact replica of the Empire State building in LEGO (100)
   • Programming Roblox in Lua (100)
   • Attending Saturday Chinese immersion school (100)
   • Playing their Chinese Lute (1000)

Bonus

1. How important is your child’s mental health?
   • Very important. I will make sure they get all the love and support (0)
   • No big deal. Nothing a few prescription pills can’t solve (100)
   • Only white people have mental health issues (1000)

Results

Tally your final score to determine your parenting style:

Score	Prognosis
<1000	You are either a disgrace or white.
1000-3000	You are a Tiger Cub.  Either step up your game or give up your kids for adoption.
>3000	You are a Tiger Parent! You will be receiving an autographed Amy Chua paddle.